Feeling a bit down

I’m just feeling a bit down today as my friends came to visit and now they are gone. I have had some visitors lately and it has been so super nice. As I’ve recently posted, my family was in town, and then now my friends.

It just goes to show how very lonely I am. I spend day in and day out without seeing anyone and it is just really tough. I didn’t get to go do any of the stuff that my friends came into town for — to go see the baseball game and then get dinners and such. They also went to the beach one day.

However, just to have them come back in the door and chat about their day was just so lovely. It made me feel like a real human being again. We could chat about something other than my pain. I could just be quiet and listen to them happily chat away about their good times for the day.

Yes, of course I wish I could have gone with them, but even just to be around people living life was just so nice.

The PT setback is just really an absolute bummer. I’m having such a hard time even standing. My steps are down by 2000, so my dreams of walking a few blocks to the bar to watch football games looks like it is out of reach for awhile. I worked so hard to get my steps up for that. It’s the hugest disappointment.

Then there is the pain. I can’t sleep. I don’t feel like eating because the pain sucks so bad. The worst is that it wakes me up and then I can’t fall back asleep.

I really just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so lonely and so miserable it is just tough to find a reason to get up in the morning anymore.

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Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Diego. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook atmadelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com