In my last post I stated my family was coming to visit. Well …
It went great!
I had so much fun.
Logistically, I was a bit nervous. As my now 5-year-old niece likes to say “your house is kind of small”. I wouldn’t care at all if my family was staying with me if I had a big house, but my family room is small! She’s not wrong! I was worried two queen air beds would not fit — but they did! I was also a bit worried that with 5 people in my tiny apartment we would be tripping all over each other.
I am quite pleased to report that that didn’t happen. The adults and kids were very cognizant of picking up after themselves or kicking toys under stuff to reduce the chance I would trip. That’s a huge concern of mine because whenever I do trip it’s beyond painful. Plus, I would be slightly embarrassed about screaming out in pain if I tripped. I don’t even have to fall down, just the jarring nature of tripping is excruciating.
Ultimately, I was beyond thrilled that they stayed with me. It was way better than the last time when they went to a hotel. I got tons more time with everyone and I could better plan when to lay down.
The kids were really wonderful about not jumping on me or tugging at me. They really did understand that Auntie is delicate and that went a long way into making my weekend more enjoyable — I could actually relax around them. I trusted them quite a bit, but that didn’t stop me from acting like I was in the mafia — always wanting my back against the wall! No surprises from behind!
The adults were great, too. Obviously, the children doing so well with Auntie is a direct reflection of the parenting by the adults. My sister-in-law and my brother did a great job of letting me lay down when I needed to and I didn’t feel too badly about having to do it. I could have laid down more, but I was just so excited to see everyone. Me not laying down more was on me, certainly not them. Besides, I am very happy to report that even though I pushed it, I am not the worse-for-wear after the weekend! Yay!
There was one incident when the 5-year-old came into the bedroom and started grilling me on my laying down habits which was slightly upsetting, not because of her, but because it’s just upsetting that I have to do it. Plus, kids don’t know how to read when someone is getting upset — the interrogation did not end swiftly! It’s okay though. I had no problem answering her questions, it’s just, like her, I have a hard time understanding my situation and when I have to reiterate it to those big blue eyes of hers it reminds me of how much I’ve lost.
My favorite parts of the weekend were coloring with SK, brushing our teeth together, and texting. Yes, texting. She loves it. The nice thing was I trusted her enough to let her lay in bed with me and she was unbelievably sweet. We talked abut it for a minute or so and she did a good job convincing Auntie. She made up a rule that she would not cross a line in the bed and I was impressed that she kept her word! I mean, she’s 5! So it was really nice to lay next to her and text back and forth. SK likes the emoticons and she makes me happy with the stories she makes up about the little icons.
With Little Man, my favorite parts of the weekend with him was brushing our hair together and fireworks. He let me brush his hair for him and then he ran around reporting to everyone how smooth his hair was. My heart was filled with such joy! He also really liked the 4th of July fireworks and watching his face made me happy. SK tried real hard to participate, but at the end of the day, she just doesn’t like the noise. I was proud of her for trying and even more proud of her for just coming to the conclusion that she didn’t have to be out there with us.
Favorite kiddo lines from the weekend:
SK (after a minute of just staring at me) “I want you to drive back to Arizona with us”
SK (walks up from family room, hugs me) “I really like you, Auntie”
– both of these were just the fucking sweetest –
Little Man (in regards to them going to the pool. I don’t have this one exact) “We have to wait for Auntie, her suit’s not on yet”
– this one made me happy as he didn’t want to leave me behind! –
Little Man has one of the sweetest hearts around.
Overall, the weekend was fabulous. I really, really loved having people around. I get quite desperately lonely as I am by myself almost every single day. Just to have laughter in the house and things happening was so wonderful. I miss people, I especially miss my family. I won’t lie to you, I sobbed uncontrollably Sunday night because I already missed them and it was just so nice to have people around. It’s one of the things that is hardest about my situation — the loneliness. The pain of course is horrible, but coupled with the isolation it’s close to unbearable at times. I try and hide it when people do come over because who wants to hear a sob story when you actually do get to spend time with people? Plus, my mom was a big complainer so I try everything in my power not to bring attention to my misery.
So if anyone is reading this blog, even though it is mostly just a journal for myself, please know that if you are worried about family coming to visit things can turn out brilliantly, like they did for me!
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Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Diego. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook atmadelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com