Social Security Denied At Hearing Level

planes and trainsSocial Security denied at the hearing level.

I just don’t understand. I really thought that I would win. I guess, because I deserved to win, plus everyone told me that I would.

I am so screwed now, it’s ridiculous. I have no income. I truly can’t work. I can’t sit for more than five minutes and I can’t stand for more than 2 hours a day – and that’s just once. After that, I need to lay down in one hour intervals. My mind is spacey — always distracted from the pain. If I do try and go out, I’m pretty much laid up for the rest of the day. When I say go out, it’s usually for an hour. Coffee, or maybe a drink. Hardly ever food because I can’t tolerate to wait for it.

Apparently, not being able to bend at the waist, tie your own shoes, or put on your own underwear did not sway the judge. Apparently, not being able to remotely do your own grocery shopping, clean your own house, or get yourself to doctors was convincing to this judge. Apparently, being essentially home bound was not enough for this judge to approve my condition.

I’m so disgusted right now.

If I try and get work now, my simple, few joys in life will be gone. All my energy will be to put a roof over my head and food on the table. My joys of listening to the audiobooks I have will be inundated with more distracting pain from trying to work.

That’s IF  I get a job. Who is going to hire a nurse that can only work from home, in two hour intervals, for a max of 4 hours a day?

I simply just don’t understand how this could happen. I spent my life taking care of other people. I did everything right. I’m such a straight-shooter. I didn’t cheat on my husband, tried to do right by my parents and brother, and this? I’ve been patient over 3 years to get better. No. Not that. Then, despite my quality of life being shit, I now have to worry about where to live, how to live, and how to eat? It’s truly mind-boggling.

My next few posts will be on what the denial letter actually said, which is a whole other conversation. After that, I will offer my advice for people who are starting this process so that they won’t make the same mistakes I did. I truly can’t believe that I had a company, Allsup, represent me for over a year, who had no fucking clue what they were doing and offered no tangible advice until it was too late.

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Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Diego. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook atmadelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

My Doctor Is Terrible

My doctor is terrible. He doesn’t care and is too busy to pay attention to his patients.

I know I had said in the past that I was excited about this new doctor because he seemed to really care. That he wanted to put thought into my case. Well, not so much.

As you know, I had my follow up three weeks ago and he wanted to put me on Neurontin. Well, it took a week for my friend to pick up the medication so I didn’t have a chance to read the insert right away. The insert said that I should not take Neurontin with magnesium.

It didn’t say why.

So I emailed Dr. W. to ask what the actual interaction was. Nothing. No return email. I then called him a few days later to ask again. No return call, nothing. I then went into the office to get my blood work drawn and asked the front staff there if they could have him get back to me. Nope.

I then decided to start researching the drug myself. Come to find out that it has really bad withdrawal. I specifically asked him if there was bad withdrawal. He said no. What? How can it be so different?

Here’s the thing. If I can’t even get the man to call me back about questions I have about going on the medication, how is he ever going to call me back if I go through withdrawals? There are medications that he can prescribe if I have a hard time coming off the drug but it is useless to me if I can’t get him to call me back.

I even called him yesterday because I got my first cold in 3 years and I’m terrified. I don’t know if my back can handle a coughing spell. I called specifically to ask him if he knew of any heavy duty cough suppressants that he can prescribe. I also said that while I don’t take narcotics for my back, that I might be willing to take them on a short-term basis if it was due to acute back pain from the coughing. No reply. I even told the office staff to call me back regardless if he wanted to order something or not.

I should have called them back this morning, but I didn’t. I was feeling terrible and just wasn’t up for an argument.

I will be calling them tomorrow.

Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Diego. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook atmadelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

I Will Be Trying Flector Vs Lidocaine Patches

So I have become quite addicted to wearing my Lidocaine patches. I started a few months back to try 30 days worth of Lidocaine patches to see if it would break my pain cycle.

It does actually make me feel better. I mean, it doesn’t cure me or anything, but it does make me feel better.

However, at the end of the 30 days, I was supposed to stop. I just can’t bring myself to stop relying them.

Yet, I wonder? What makes me feel better, the Lidocaine or the fact that it comes in a patch form? I wonder if my back just feels a bit more stable having something back there. Kind of like the tape that athletes use. Therefore, I asked my doctor to write for Flector patch, which is an anti-inflammatory patch. That way I can try a different class of drugs in patch form and rule out if it is medication, sensation, or both. I’m gonna start tomorrow with a five day trial to see if I can determine what makes me feel better. I had a hard time convincing my doctor, he just wanted to write for a Fector cream, but I insisted. He completely was not paying attention to my rationale.

The unfortunate part of this is that my new insurance, which is shit, does not pay for Flector. There is also no generic. That means that a 30 day supply is $300. I got 10 for my trial, but I can’t believe it. How can they not cover it when there is no generic? My Synthroid, Calcitriol, and Lidocaine patches weren’t covered either. It is really quite shocking. I can only imagine what will happen when I need a new MRI or a CT. I’m confident that my insurance company will not cover it or deny authorization.

The other shocking thing was the pharmacist. I had an inkling that the Flector patches would not be covered since my Synthroid, Calcitriol, and Lidocaine patches weren’t. So I asked the pharmacist if there was a generic of Flector patch or any generic anti-inflammatory patch. He said there was, which was the Lidocaine patch.

This is completely inaccurate. Lidocaine is an anesthetic. Flector is an anti-inflammatory agent. These are two totally different mechanisms. I can not believe that a pharmacist gave such horrible advice and completely inaccurate! What if I hadn’t known this! My God! It’s not life threatening or anything but these are two totally different classes of drugs! All I have to say is be careful people!

I will report back next week how my trial goes. I have to be judicious though and not take any chances. My commitment needs to be at it’s strongest. These medications are now too expensive to be willy-nilly about my plan of attack.

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Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Diego. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook atmadelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

Follow up with new Dr. W.

I had my follow-up appointment with the new doctor, Dr. W.

I think I will never learn.

I should have called before the appointment. We only left the house at 12:50 for a 1:00 appointment. We got there and they told me he was running 45 minutes behind.

Jeez-Louise.

When did I actually see the doctor? Oh, that would be 2:05pm. I checked my watch when we left the room, 2:35. So I have been waiting for this appointment for over a month, and he only spent 30 minutes with me. The other annoying fact was that he was supposed to write 2 prescriptions for me. He said “wait right here”.

He went to go see another patient.

What? Was I suppose to wait 30 minutes for him to come out and write the prescription? Did I not just see him with the clear instructions that I can only stand for an hour? Jerkoff.

But he wasn’t, I think he is just a very busy, and didn’t make the connection in his haste.

Ultimately, what I did like about the appointment was that he was prepared. He didn’t ask me the same questions, nor did he act like he was trying to quickly work through what he wanted to offer me. He right off the bat stated he wanted to test me for spondyloarthropathy.

I copied this from one of the subsections: Enthesitis[5] (inflammation of the entheses, the sites where tendons or ligaments insert into the bone.[9][10]), eg. Plantar fasciitis, Achillis tendonitis, costochondritis.

I have had both Plantar Fasciitis and Achillis tendonitis. There is also a section that describes having back pain for more than 3 month when you are less that 45 years old. It also states that I have tested negative for the others. These are all things that apply to me, so I think it could be a valid diagnosis and most certainly something to rule out.

As for medications, he asked if I had tried Neurontin before, which I hadn’t. That was what he wanted to try first. I asked him briefly about a few other items, but he was running short on time so I didn’t get a chance. He said he only wanted me trying one thing at a time, which was fine, but I did want to know what he thought of some of the items, not just that I wanted to try them all at once.

We did end the visit with him to research who to get PRP from. I told him I absolutely wanted to move forward with that.

I hope that something from this appointment yields some kind of a result. That would be great.

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Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Diego. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook atmadelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com