Almost Move Time

Almost time to move. The big day is on Friday.

It’s a bit nerve wracking, to say the least. I feel like I am dead man walking – waiting and knowing of my demise. I fear this trip will make me so much worse that I won’t be able to tolerate the pain at all. I fear being worse than I am now. I fear not being able to concentrate anymore because the pain is bad. I fear not having any reprieve.

This will all be done this week though. Sunday, hopefully, will be fine. It is the day after the drive. I have my Green Bay Packers game and I hope I am able to get lost in it and deal with whatever comes my way.

Please wish me luck, I really need it. I haven’t been this scared ever in my life. I’ve had a sense of dread before, but nothing like this.

First phase of move complete

Well, so far, so good. The first phase of the move is complete. I must say, I could not have done it without the help of my friends. Obviously.

Over the course of the last week I’ve been having friends come over and we’ve been tackling my move room by room. That really, really worked out. If any of you ever have to move, I highly recommend that technique.

My friends who helped me move the clothes were fabulous. I weeded through even more of my clothes to get them to a much more manageable situation. That was fun, and a bit sad. They kept saying things like “you can’t get rid of this!”

Yeah, well the problem is, I haven’t been able to wear stuff for two years because of my condition. Maybe, if I had had any kind of improvement, I would have saved the items, but I have not. I haven’t gotten better, and holding onto those clothes isn’t going to change that. While I had the help to pack them, I took the opportunity to ween so I wouldn’t have to move them again when I didn’t have as much help.

On following days other friends helped me with the kitchen, my paperwork, and my bathroom materials. It all went very, very smoothly. It also helped, by breaking down the move into rooms, help control me. I want to help. I want to do more. However, it was a way to limit myself from doing too much. Also, it made me feel a little less like a burden. When friends came over to do just one room, it didn’t seem like such a huge task. That really helped my mental state.

When the movers came on Tuesday most everything was already boxed up. I saved my desk for my husband to do, but the movers said that it was fine to leave intact, so that helped a lot too. The whole apartment was emptied in 2.5 hours with the truck fully loaded and ready to drive away. Pretty spectacular.

The only kind of glitch was attaching the car trailer thingy-do. It was a bed kind, not where the wheels are off the ground. It was extremely difficult to maneuver and the hubby got super frustrated, understandably so. Once that was done though, everything was smooth sailing.


**Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at

Busy week ahead of me

I have quite the busy week ahead of me.

I will be moving in two weeks to sunny San Diego. I have a bit of help down there, so that will be helpful with my back. I’m terrified of getting down there, which is a whole other story.

This week will be tough as I have to pack again. That’s always hard on my back and hard on my psyche. It won’t be as bad as it was a few months back, because a lot of it is still in boxes, and was weaned from how much stuff I had before.

I have tried to break the rooms down by the day.

Tomorrow I have friends coming over to help me pack my clothes. That will be the hardest. I feel like I need to wean through the clothes again because I haven’t seen the apartment I am moving to and I don’t know how much will fit. I can’t do any of the packing myself so it will have to be pretty much straight forward. It will be a quick go or stay. If I can at least wean throw 1/4 of it, that will be good. Plus, it will save me the space and I can put other things in its place.

Wednesday I have a friend coming over and she will help me pack my kitchen, plus all my documents for MetLife and Social Security. That has me a bit nervous, because if I need that stuff, it won’t be with me. As for dishes and stuff, again … weaning. I will wean it down to the bare minimums. I just don’t want to have to pack that stuff again some day.

Thursday will be lose ends. Pretty much anything we didn’t get done the last two days. I have some stretching blocks, my dvds, and remotes and such. Just kind of random stuff.

Then on Saturday will be my bathroom stuff. I will be going au naturel for the next week or so.

That’s pretty much it. Then it will be a week and half of not much stuff. That’s okay, I don’t require much anyways.

So to summarize, just trying to break it all down to easy, manageable days so as to not overtax myself (the irony is I don’t want to overtax myself pointing at what everyone else should do — man, my life is terrible). Tomorrow will be the worst. I’m not sure how much help that group of friends will be, or if they are really even up for doing it. Last time they all just sort of sat around drinking and chatting and I was left there not wanting to be an asshole and be like “I can’t move anything myself! Please! I need help! Stop talking!”

I’ll let you know how it goes next week.

Total screw up by Allsup

I Am Legend No

A lot has happened this past week. I was able to reach my congress person about a month ago to see if they could help with my social security claim. Well, they did! They were fantastic! The most help anyone has offered me since this whole process began.

They were able to get my case approved for critical processing.

However, I just had to decide to move because I don’t have any money and I can’t afford to live in San Mateo anymore. I had considered going month to month here, however, the price for month to month was 3k. Can you believe it! With zero income how was I supposed to afford that?

So I move November 29th and the hearing was scheduled for San Francisco for Dec 8th.

No biggie.

SF decides that they are going to setup a video conference with San Diego (SD) so that I can keep my hearing date. Nice, right?

Here is where the magic happens.

Allsup (random company that MetLife strongly suggested, by that I mean badger, I use to represent me with social security) totally screws up and tells them that I waive my right to video conference, that I only want it in person. What! That never happened.

Apparently, some clerk sent out a mass letter to everyone they were representing, regardless of what was discussed between the client and their specific representative, that they did not want video conferencing. Allsup assured me this would not happen, that everyone was on the same page. Clearly, my suspicions of ineptitude were spot on.

Therefore, SF social security gets mad, sends me a letter, and states that they are revoking my critical case status! Not only do I lose my December 8th hearing, but now I lose my critical case status.

Allsup are absolute idiots.

Also, now I look like a diva to the court system.

Perfect. Thanks Allsup. Thanks a lot.

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