Too much football!

My back can only last for so long. I have to time my activities around my back. Usually I can do one activity per day. Also, my activity isn’t super exciting. It might be to be able to stand for half a football game, then lie down, or maybe have a friend come over for a few hours where I stand and lay throughout the visit.

As everyone knows, I love football. I have been a fan of the Green Bay Packers since 1996. My husband is a Lions fan, and we both grew up in Michigan. I only tell you this because that means the NFC North is the division that I enjoy watching the most.

Well, today was too much football. My game is the Sunday night game. I already knew that it was going to be hard to make it all the way to the Packers game without any pain. I mean, really. I always have pain. I guess what I’m trying to say is I wanted to try and make it to 5:30 pm with as much reduced pain as I could manage.

Didn’t happen.

The issue is, my day started at 8:30 in the morning with the Lions game. Who airs a game at 6:30 in the morning? I ended up watching most of that. Then, the Bears were playing against the Patriots for the 10:00 am game. Well, I had to watch that. Then, there was the Eagles and Arizona game. I really kind of wanted to keep my eye on that game as well.

Simply, just too much football.

It’s too much to have 4 games in one day. I mean, usually, I watch a game, and then keep my eye on another. This was all games I wanted to watch with their own time slot.

Too much!

Also, ugh. Stupid Detroit Lions doing the unbelievable and coming back from a 21 point deficit. On a side note, really Atlanta? You didn’t score AT ALL the second half of the game?!

That means that the Lions are still ahead in the division.

That’s annoying.

Something fun for a change – Oscar Wilde

This past week, on October 16th, marked the 160th anniversary of Oscar Wilde’s birthday.

He is by far my favorite poet.

I had just moved from Detroit (15 miles west of Detroit actually, as not many people are truly from Detroit), Michigan to San Francisco, California. I was working at Stanford and my commute was an hour long, two hours round trip.

At first, I had been talking to people over the phone on my commute. Yet, that quickly blew-up my phone bill. Then I started listening to Howard Stern, but, I must say, he gets very old, very fast. I’m not a feminist per se, but I do not wish to listen to a man that demeans women every chance he gets.

I had to find something new to do on my commute.

I decided on audiotapes. Yes, back then, it was an audiotape. That is not a misprint.

My first one was The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. This book was first published in July 1890. Yet, it still seems as relevant today. In fact, it is. I read it and it did not feel dated at all.

In fact, it was eye-opening to me.

I was unfamiliar with his wit, his use of language, nor his ideas. After this book, I fell in love with him. I have read all of his works. It’s not just that his books or plays have good storylines. It’s his use of the written word to convey ideas. It’s how he observes his world, and how he speaks of it.

Here are some of his quotes. I pulled them from MentalFloss, one of my favorite websites.

  • I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
  • The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.
  • Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

These are taken from Goodreads:

If you have never read his work, please, pick up a copy.

Try out Audible. I bet they will have some of his work.

****

**Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third bookANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

 

No-shows are harder when you are disabled

Good job showing up, lady

I had a no-show today and while it sucks for people who are not disabled, it is so much worse when you are. I have a cleaning lady come every three weeks to help with the garbage, vacuum, and clean the bathroom.

She was supposed to come today.

Sadly, no friends came over this week, so my trash has really backed up and, lately, I have had a spider problem. So there are little spider carcasses all in my carpet. Needless to say, I really, really needed the cleaning lady to come over today.

The thing is, she didn’t show up, and she didn’t call. I had to text her to find out why she wasn’t here. The really aggravating part was she said her car broke down (which I kind of don’t believe), and that she was going to call me. The reason I don’t believe this is how do you forget to tell your clients that you can’t show up? It’s so frustrating.

It leaves me to try and scramble for someone last minute to come to the house. She can’t even come until next week. Now I have spider guts on my carpet for three weeks because I can’t get to them, and I really, really need someone to mop the remains up off my bathroom floor. It’s gross. Now I’m a gross person because my cleaning lady didn’t come over.

The thing is, when you are disabled, things aren’t niceties, they are necessities. It would nice, if I was well, to have someone clean for me. No, I need someone to clean for me or I sit in filth. If someone doesn’t show up for a person who is well, they could be irritated, but they can just as easily say fuck it, get the vacuum and clean up. They for sure would have already vacuumed up all these dead spiders.

I also was having a wonderful FaceTime conversation with my niece and I had to let her go because I thought the cleaning lady would be here at any minute. So I also had to disappoint my niece because this lady didn’t show up.

I’m just so aggravated by the situation.

How do you feel when people don’t show up? What impact does it have on you?

It’s official, my claim has been denied

frustration photo: Frustration UnhappySmash_zps5c28c29d.gif

My disability insurer called a few days ago to let me know that they are officially denying my claim for long term disability. They have determined, without ever having examined me, that I am well enough to go back to work in some capacity. They have disregarded all my paperwork from physicians who have in fact seen me that states I am disabled.

It is so upsetting to me that this company, that I paid into, is denying my claim. I am sick. I don’t want to be sick. The denial makes me feel unappreciated. It makes me feel like the whole thing is a sham. I paid into this with the expectation that if I needed it, it would be there.

Now I worry constantly about how I am going to put food on the table. How will I put a roof over my head. I am disabled, so managing the stress around this is overwhelming.

This company is just looking at finances. They don’t seem the least bit concerned that they are abandoning the very people they state they serve. The thing is, it’s not like this is a handout. I PAID them for this service.

I’m so frustrated.

I don’t know what I am going to do.

****

Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third bookANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

Hey Old Man, I Love You

Pappa

Old Man

Dad

How I wish to hear your voice on the other end of the phone. To hear the joy in your voice when I call and with a warm laugh hear him respond “Hey Tyrone!”

I do not know why he called me that. Maybe because of the movie Snatch by Guy Ritchie. I only know that I liked it when he did.

2014_05_12_10_38_21.pdf000I also know that he was the best of men. The best husband, a great father, and a wonderful person to all. He was a role model to many. He cared for people in a way that is special and hard to find.

I loved him dearly.

I wish he was here now. Not just because I am ill, not just because I know he would welcome me home with open arms, but because I would like to share a Labatt Blue with him and cook another meal with him. I want to see him pretend he doesn’t like dogs to only sneak treats to them when he thinks no one is looking.

I love you Old Man. I hope Emma is keeping you company. Be nice to Emma up there in heaven, because I know where ever she is, she’s taking up 3/4’s of the bed.