Physical Therapy Journal — 2 days of torture, not really

After a week of only one day of physical therapy, I started full-throttle this week.  Yesterday was pretty good. KC did some manual manipulations and, I swear, I could be making this up, but I felt like my walk today was a little bit easier. I had a little bit more of a sway to my hips, and just in general, I was more comfortable during my walk. I especially noticed it when I got home today. I didn’t feel like I immediately needed to lay down. I felt like I could still do things around the house.

Then, today at 2:45, I had another PT appointment. It all went pretty well up until, literally, the last two minutes. She brought me into the Pilates room and sat on the reformer. She then proceeded to ask me to lift both legs in the air — which, I could not do. I think in part it was because she didn’t want my leg in the air a couple inches off of the ground but all the way up toward the ceiling. I was able to get the right one up in the air and in the strap, but once she had me try and put the left one in the air, I just couldn’t get my brain to do it. I finally, finally, got my leg up there, and almost as soon as I did, I had to tell KC no more. My low L5-S1 spot was on fire. I’m sure it was in part due to the fact that the reformer table that you lay on was a bit firmer, no, harder than the therapy table., but also because that really put my back into a position it had never been in before. I mean really, both legs straight up in the air? Not on my priority list. Sitting is a priority for me. But I get what she was trying to accomplish, which is my low back to move a bit.

By the time I got home my back was screaming. I laid down and with a drink on stand by. The good news is it’s now a few hours later, and while my back is not 100% back to it’s baseline, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be.

So there it is. If you are following along — this is what my physical therapy sessions look like. My next one is on Thursday.

As a follow up, after my scary appointment with the sports medicine doctor, I seemed to have returned to my normal baseline on Sunday.

Also, today disability management through work finally pulled the trigger and is calling me out on not returning to work. I knew this day was coming, but it doesn’t make it any less difficult. A big fear of mine is that I will get better, but it will be a few months shy of their deadline and I will lose my job when I could have maybe kept it. I also need to be mature and realize I can always get a new job, but I can’t get a new back. I’m sorry, but I can’t go through this again. It’s not worth risking my back.

All my love.

Pain Journal: Still in pain after doctor visit

Last Wednesday I had a doctor appointment and he put me through the paces. Usually he is slow to start, and I have time to adjust to what he is about to do. Not this time. I think he was in too much of a rush. So he immediately put me into both legs near my chest and then leaned down.

Why did he do this? I don’t know what he was trying to accomplish. How does he know how far I can bend or stretch when he didn’t ease into it?

The whole healthcare thing is really starting to bother me. We, as patients, don’t seem to have any say it what is going on. The old adage of “the doctor knows best” is starting to seem like total bullshit to me.

He didn’t say anything to me about how far I thought I could stretch and then try and push me past that point, no, he went straight into it. Now I am here in way more pain than I was before, and I can assure you, he hasn’t given me one more thought since he left my exam room.

I know what people will say too. You need to speak up for yourself. Do you know how fast he put me in that position. It took less that 4 seconds. Besides, I also wasn’t even sure what he was going to do in order to speak up. If he had just raised both legs to my chest, I think I might have been able to handle that. I might have been able to handle some light pressure. But that’s not what happened. He leaned into it with way to much weight.

I swear. I get that doctors are busy. I get that some patients will complain no matter what. But for Pete’s sake — give some of us a chance to speak up for ourselves.

The next time I go see him I will immediately say “I want to know everything you are going to do before you do it. I felt like last time you rushed into everything and I wasn’t ready for it.”

I’m not leaving his office one more time in more pain than when I went in.

Random Ramblings: Doctor visit

Went to the spine doctor today and I was quite pleased — mostly because he was pleased. I thought going in he wouldn’t be happy with my progress — like I should have been farther along. Nope. He was happy with what I was able to do and thought that I had made up the time that I had lost.

He said he had been worried my back wouldn’t have been moving at all, but that it was. That my original thoracic injury was basically healed, and now we just had to continue working on the lumbar.

He did crank on me though. So I’m quite a bit sore. I’m thinking he must have been trying to break up some scar tissue. Yet, I would have liked him to tell me that before he did it. It all just seemed to be a bit much. It wasn’t like he eased into it. Nope. Just brought my knees to my chest, and before I could whimper out that I hadn’t done anything like that yet, he not only brought my knees to my chest, but then laid what felt like his full weight down on my legs. All I could think was … I guess this is gonna be it for my back.

Luckily, it wasn’t and now I am at home with a glass of wine and a small bit of hope for my future.

Take care y’all.